"I have so many egg puns, it's not even bunny."
What do oranges have after a hard work out? Juice!
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
A mean crook going down stairs = A condescending con, descending
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Why was the bouncy castle so expensive? Due to the cost of inflation.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
I have bean thinking about you.
What did the astronaut cook for lunch? An unidentifiable frying object.
What happens when a koala drinks too much alcohol? He gets a bear gut.
I want to tell you an excellent ice pun, but the problem is that it’s just slipped my mind.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III, he told said, "Over my dead body."
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What did the painter say to his wife? "I love you with all my art!"
What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels? A Stegosaurus on roller skates!
We had an argument on our way back from the tournament. Our position is that their goal was stopping ours.
The snowman keeps having tantrums, they're real meltdowns!
What has 34 legs, 9 heads and 2 arms? Santa Claus and his reindeer.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
"What do tofu and a dildo have in common?" "They are both meat substitutes!"
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
If you go to a beach and you can see through it, you could say the coast is clear.
I was astonished when my shirt's color changed from red to pink after a wash. Guess it showed me its true colors.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
What happened to the man that took the 5 o’clock train home? He had to give it back!
My son asked me what Micheal Jackson was doing in Italy
I told him he was "sight-heeheeing."
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
My sinks been on deaths door for the past week or so...
I finally decided to pull the plug.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
Dear Optimist, Pessimist and Realist. While you were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
The Opportunist.
What drink do you need to steal? Virgin-tea. Why do hipsters only drink iced tea? Because ice was water before it was cool.
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
If athletes can get “Athletes foot”, what can astronauts get? Missile Toe.
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
Bee warned.
Bee puns really sting.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
Prepare to be bowled over.
Why are fish so smart Because they swim in schools!
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.