Yally Bally had a jolly golliwog. Feeling folly, Yally Bally Bought his jolly golli' a dollie made of holly! The golli', feeling jolly, named the holly dollie, Polly. So Yally Bally's jolly golli's holly dollie Polly's also jolly!
Who does May like the best?
April Showers, because April Showers brings May flowers!
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
These puns are turtle-y hilarious.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend?
He had a long honeydew list.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
I used my credit card to buy 1-ply toilet paper.
And now I'm paying for it.
I got arrested for the way I eat corn.
They charged me with a salt and buttery.
Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
The mossbacks could not connect with the new developments, so the bill was hot
down at the senate.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth.
Does your sport shop stock short socks with spots?
I have a beer snob friend with Photophobia. He hates natural light.
Did you hear about the painter who works in jail? They say he had a brush with the law.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
I'm the life of the paddy.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What dinosaur knows a lot of synonyms? A thesaurus.
Aliens hate playing golf in space as there are too many black holes!
A lion would never play golf.
But a Tiger Wood.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
The biggest irony in the world's history is that the Russian alphabet has no letters in lowercase. It is all Capitalization.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
When it’s raining, a turtle goes to a shell-ter.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
Witch fall flavor is your favorite?
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
Whats The Most tiniest Virus Ever? "smallpox".
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
What do you get when a duck bends over?
It’s Buttquack