What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
A boy lines up to get some apple juice and a girl lines up to get some orange juice
This would be funny but there’s no punchline.
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
Garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sale of fresh flowers.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
Why would a real estate business never close down?
Since it’ll never be out of commission.
What do you call friends with airpods in their ears
Earbuds.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
Dust is a disk's worst enemy.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Shoutout to my grandparents...
Because that's the only way they can hear me.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
"Do you know how long it takes for a bomb to explode?"
No, but dynamite!
Have you heard of the martial artists who fought on the beach?
They faced off in sand-to-sand combat.
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
Being vegetarian was a huge missed-steak.
What do you call a spider with ten eyes?
A spiiiiiiiiiider.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
Have you heard Mariah Kleenex's big holiday single?
It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"
My barrista friend turns up her nose at instant coffee.
She's quite sankamonious.
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
What did the pickle say when he was told he was going in to a salad?
I relish the thought.
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
What do ghosts drink on St Patricks Day?
BOOs.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
He quacked up.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What song do young peaches love listening to? 'Papa don't peach'.
American cherries generally do pretty well at high school. Many of them end up on the cherryleading squad.
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
Why did the fairy play football?
Because she was fairy sportable!
Basketball players manage to remain cool even during tough matches because they stay closer to the fans.
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
What's a chef's favourite drug?
Pot.