Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
Would Gretzky have changed his name in order to play in Mexico?
Yes, The Great Juan did what it takes.
Roberta ran rings around the Roman ruins.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
When winter comes, this town turns into an iceburg.
What is the invisible man's favorite shampoo?
Clear.
Rudder valve reversals
Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out identity theft is a crime
Q: What do tigers and computers have in common?
A: They both have mega bites.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
What do you get when two giraffes run into each other?
A giraffic jam.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Oh Sheet
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
How many cookies could a good cook cook If a good cook could cook cookies? A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.
My sister asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall”
I said maybe.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
What does Spider-man become when he joins the circus?
an aracnobat.
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
Or was it Sock-rates?
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
Which is the bar downtown that soccer players hate striking on? Crossbar.
Bookworms take shelfies.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
Why don’t monkeys wear pocket watches?
Because they don’t wear pants.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
My neighbor planted dogwood trees in his front yard.
I’m not a huge fan of the bark.
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
If you doubt whether bowling is a sport, get it from me, that yes, it is a sport, but for people who have talent to spare.
You are un-beer-lievable!
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
What did the Indian kid say to his mother when she left India?
Mumbai
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!