What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
He didn’t have the heart.
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
Every single morning I get hit by the same bike.
It's a vicious cycle.
On Halloween, I will be wearing a normal everyday T-Shirt
I'll be going as a Casualty
After the Palace of Versailles was completed, Louis XIV felt Baroque and roll.
"I'm an Easter eggs-pert."
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
What's the hardest tea to swallow?
Reality.
What's the difference between sanitizer and moisturizer?
One will burn your eyes, the other will moisturize.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
Living in france must be hard
I mean, 100 dollars is only a cent.
What's the opposite of an elephant?
An eleph-antonym.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What did the storm drain say when it learnt it'd be getting a new cover?
That's just grate.
If you make a mistake of playing basketball with pigs, they will hog the ball.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Need an ark?
I noah guy.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
Did you hear about the spies trying to infiltrate japan, Italy, and Germany in WWII?
They were denied axis.
Witch fall flavor is your favorite?
What did the mother airplane say to the child airplane when the child was acting rude?
"I've had it with your altitude"
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
Why do the hot dogs with ketchup spoil early?
Because the sauce ages.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
What did the tornado say to the washing machine?
Want to go for a spin?
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What’s a horse’s favorite dinosaur?
The broncosaurus.
Good gourd, pumpkin spice latte season is officially here.
How do you greet a skeleton in france?
"Bonejour."
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
I had to give an impromptu speech on a piece of cloth that encircles the wrist...
I spoke off the cuff on the cuff.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
My friend went on a date with a Cardio Nurse
His heart was racing the whole time.
Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
What's the difference between chemistry and cooking
In chemistry you should never lick the spoon.
Jameson on St. Patrick’s Day? It’s worth a shot.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
True house cleaners aren't just born
They're maid.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.