The moto of their school bowling team was ‘let’s knock em down’.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
I hope these Halloween puns don't drive you batty.
Genoa bout the bridge collapse in Italy?
Ah well, we won't go over it then.
I love spending koala-ty time with you.
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
What do you call a musical lime?
John Lemon.
What did the pastry chef say when a banana cream pie he made completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
It hit despot.
What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
Twin brothers just had a birthday
One turned twenty. The other turned twenty too.
Strawberries are great musicians because they make perfect jam sessions.
Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
You’re the cutest clover in the patch.
Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant? Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.
Where do fish wash? In a river basin.
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
Why don't they make ice cream from breast milk? It's an udderly bad idea!
Do you know what firemen often add to their soup? – They add firecrackers.
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
All farts...are laughing gas.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
Why did one melon break up with the other melon?
“He didn’t know water problem was.”
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
I don’t know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
Chris P. Bacon
Billy turned in his art project and his teacher said, “This piece of paper has nothing on it?”
Billy replied “I know, I drew a blank.”
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
What is it called when two Irish couples go out on a date?
Dublin.
A rare black tiger is spotted in India
Everywhere else it has stripes.
A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
My bank is really proud of me.
According to them, I have an outstanding balance!
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
Every piece of you is sweet.
I was going to replace the seats at my bar
But... I just can't look at another stool sample
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
Is it ad-out again? I’m going to hit my breaking point.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!