What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
I gifted my girlfriend a star for her birthday
I think its perfect, she said she needed some space.
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
How does a bee get to school?
She takes a school buzz
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Did you guys know that dolphins attack seals for sport?
It's almost like they do it on porpoise.
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work.
I almost choked on my banana.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
God made rainy days, so gardeners could get the housework done.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Do you know how to dunk cookies? Ask a basketball chef.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
I know tons of dad jokes! Here’s one
1.
Aloha is a soft laugh.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
How does the Easter Bunny stay fit?
Egg ercise.
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? Because he is a meat eater!
“Santa owes a lot to his little helpers. You might say he’s an elf-made man.”
I got a new bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
It is kneadless, to say.
How do playful monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
The other day I told a joke about an armored vehicle with a rotating gun turret.
It tanked.
Why these days, the Moon is up till so late? Don’t worry, it is just going through a phase.
What kind of fish is only made of salt.
A tu-na.
What’s the difference between a buffalo and a bison?...
You can’t wash your hands in a buffalo.
Koi fish always travel in a groups of four
Because the predator will go after the D koi
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
The evil King of Weatherland only had one favorite weather - hail, storm.
Why did the cheerleader add extra salt to her food in the summer?
She wanted to do summer-salts.
Crossbows are great, but they have their drawbacks.
Ah! The element of surprise.
Two candies had a beautiful wedding. They were truly mint to be
How is bacon like southern Europe?
It's got a lot of Greece in it.
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
Why do people take an instant dislike to real estate agents?
To save time.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
I got worried about climate change when realtors in Iowa started advertising their listings as “potential waterfront property.”
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
Which city do hamsters live in?
Hamsterdam.
How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long.