What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
You must be glue because I am sticking with you.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
Fresh fried fish,
Fish fresh fried,
Fried fish fresh,
Fish fried fresh.
What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
It ain’t over till it’s clover.
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses.
"I'm nuts about you."
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
I’m a clover, not a fighter.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
He’s my pinch charming.
There is a specific type of cats who love to go bowling. They are known as alley cats.
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
Why did the tiger visit the eye specialist after dropping a can of red paint on himself? He saw red.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
I aorta tell you how much I love you.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
When you offered me love, I lepton it!
Baby seal walks into a club...
Years later he would sing A kiss from a rose in the same club.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
People hated Ho Chi Minh because he was Hanoi-ing.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
Wholey-grain! You really bread my mind!
For my wife's birthday, I bought her some beads for her abacus
It's the little things that count.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Organ donors really put their heart into it.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
My love for you simply radiates.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What did the pepperoni say to the cook?
You wanna pizza me?
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
What do lawyers snack on?
Plea-nuts.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Talk literary to me.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
A team may be talented, but there is no substitute to this, no train no gain!