Why did the owl join Tinder?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra... It was a booby trap.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
What did the vampire say to the vampire hunter that missed his heart.
Well wasnt that an unfortunate missed-stake.
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
More candles means a bigger wish!
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
Don't even chai.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
Which Led Zeppelin song do realtors love most?
“A Whole Lot Of Love.”
From my head tomatoes, I love you bunches.
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
The favorite colors of fishes are deep blue and aquamarine blue.
Do you think you know more parrot jokes than me? Toucan play that game!
I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.
How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
Q: Which basketball players eat fruits?
A: The ones who like to cherry pick.
My Gourd, Autumn is so fall of herself!
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
Why did the police arrest the star? That’s becuase it was a shooting star.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
What do you call someone who chokes on their tea?
A cough-y drinker.
Why does Foghorn Leghorn take it slow when April rolls around?
Because he’s no spring chicken!
What is the favorite chess move of ants with bladder problems?
En pissant.
"You can't beat me."
Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
Why isn't your daughter married? Because a gourd man is hard to find.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
What kind of person would sell someone a sham-rock?
A lepre-con!