Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
What's the similarity between a sailor and a thief?
Both have a phobia for sirens.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
Always think hard before you get married because on one hand you have a cool ring but on the other hand you don’t.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cat a bath?
It will surely end in a cat-astrophe.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
What clothes do rainbows wear? Thunderpants.
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
Behind every great parent is a great kid. Happy birthday!
When autumn arrives, the evergreen tree asked the deciduous tree, "Leafing so soon?'
What do you call a group of chess players bragging about how they won in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
I started dating a girl I really like. She's really into bees.
I think she's a keeper
What is the difference between a cow that produces normal milk and a cow that produces chocolate milk?
A mootation
I used to be addicted to soap.
I’m clean now.
How do you find zebra?
Look under zeshirt.
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
What did the orange say when a knife pierced it’s peel? Flesh wound.
What is a walnut’s favorite Christmas play? The Nutcracker.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
Why do your heart, liver and lungs all fit in your body?
Because they are well organized.
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
I loaf you a lot.
Let’s go to bread.
Seed between the lines.
What does a lemon pie and my wife have in common?
They both have meringue on them.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
How do pirates prefer to communicate?
Aye to aye!
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
All seals live at the same elevation
Seal level.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
How many prison guards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just beat the room for being black.
The last time I wanted to go bowling, all the pins were on strike. So I just stayed at home and watched TV instead.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
My car keeps telling me my door is ajar. It's not a jar you idiot it's a door.
If marriage is grand, what is divorce?
Ten grand!