Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
Have you seen Jake’s new custom trumpet? Yeah, that’s quite a unique horn, I’d know it anywhere.
How do berries start off the fruity olympics? They cherry the Olympic torch around the globe.
My dad always said, “Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”
Tea pun-packed poem for my mum's birthday card
It’s been oolong time since my mum was born,
About Six-tea years to date,
Chai as you might, you can’t possible list,
her cupious amazing traits
Her balanced demeanour
Her Kindness and (earl) grace,
rooibost sense of humour,
too many to name in this teany space,
to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,
let’s not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,
While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,
It’s just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
What is the favorite sport for the young bass? It is the bass get ball.
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What did the first thunderstorm of the year say?
Hail to the spring!
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
What did the pizza say when it asked the topping out on a date?
I never sausage a beautiful face.
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
Almost dropped a plate of Alphabeti Spaghetti. That could have spelled disaster.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
My doctor didn’t show up to the appointment about my hairline.
He said it got pushed back
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
You’re my heartthrob.
What is the biggest type of bed ?
The sea bed.
To all the people that don't cover their mouths then they cough.
You make me sick.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
Forgive me father, pastor, vicar, padre, priest...
For I have synonymed.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
Why did the Koala cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
How do you get a teddy bear across the border?
You snuggle it across.
A weeping camel is known as a humpback wail.
The insane amount of rainfall in Poland did not lead the river to flood, all was in Oder.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Talk literary to me.
Why can’t the engineer be electrocuted? Because he’s not a conductor!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
My mum used to feed me alphabet soup when I was a kid
She insisted on me telling everyone that I loved it.
I didn't really, she was just putting words in my mouth
Why did the Russian vaccine cross the road?
To get to the other side effects.
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
Who is Frosty’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt Artica!
What do you call a distant shower sponge?
Aloofah.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.