My neighbor was walking across the street while carrying the game Scrabble then suddenly dropped it, leaving the game board and pieces on the ground.
I said: “Hey Jeff! What’s the word on the street?”
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
I've seen a meteor shower,
but never seen a meteor take a bath.
What did Einstein say when someone tried to steal his beer?
Nein! Mine Stein!
In every corny joke,
There is a kernel of truth.
Are you a defibrillator? Because you are sending shocks to my heart.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
“What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.”
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
"I make pour decisions."
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
She saw Sharif’s shoes on the sofa. But was she so sure those were Sharif’s shoes she saw?
Why did the bunny go to the hospital?
Because he needed a hopperation.
The chocolate couple decided to rent a two bedroom sweet for their summer honeymoon.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
What do you call someone who rips up books?
A tear-orist.
What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.
Why are frogs good at baseball?
Because they catch a lot of fly balls.
I have bean thinking about you.
This vacation has been sand-sational!
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
why are the discarded papers that once held the halloween candy just like vocalists who have lost their rhythm, art, and poetry?
they are both empty rappers
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
I am a peach, and when my husband accompanies me, we are a pear.
How did the frog feel when he hurt his leg?
Unhoppy
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
Which superhero likes spring the best?
Robin.
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
Who is the most famous actor in Greece ?
John Travolta.
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
Why didn't the unripe strawberry got any cards and chocolates for Valentine's Day? Because it was really sour.
I was under the blues, so I had to blue my nose occasionally.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
Botanists have developed a vegetable that eliminates the need to brush your teeth.
Bristle sprouts.
I have a spouse in a different nation.
The Imagination.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
Six slimy snails sailed silently.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What did the gladiator say when he was surrounded by nearly 100 men?
IC
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.