How many cookies could a good cook cook If a good cook could cook cookies? A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.
Q: What do tigers and computers have in common?
A: They both have mega bites.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
Do you be-leaf in magic?
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
I loaf you a lot.
Let’s go to bread.
The Doctor could tell right away the bucket was sick.
It was looking a bit pale.
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
I got a parking ticket today and my husband just laughed.
He thought it was a fine joke.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
What does goblin's blood consist of?
Hemogoblin.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
There's no need to cherry your feelings, I know you love me really.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
The perfect description of a bowling game is one where there is plenty of room at the top, but no room to lie down.
I asked the Korean grocer for something to spice up my meals, but I think I got a raw dill.
In every corny joke,
There is a kernel of truth.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history
Is that Genealogy or Geology?
Scrambled eggs are similar to a losing basketball team because both are beaten.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
I used my credit card to buy 1-ply toilet paper.
And now I'm paying for it.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
Why was the peach so sad at the funeral? It left a deep pit in its heart.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why are the electricians always up to date? Because they are ‘current specialists.
Hey kids! I went back in time and formed a British 80s pop group called The Vaccine!
And now The Cure is no longer necessary!
What will you call two quizzers having a date in spain comic con?
Spanish con-quiz-daters.
The beauty with bowling is that you can get three strikes, but you still remain in the game.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Did you hear about the pick-up artist who only ever wears green leaves on his head? Yeah, he’s definitely a pineapple smoothie.
What did the thunderstorm say to the lightning rod?
You'll never catch me, copper!
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
What’s a dolphin’s favorite constellation?
The Big Dipper!
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.