How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
Would Gretzky have changed his name in order to play in Mexico?
Yes, The Great Juan did what it takes.
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
What can one parrot do?
Not as much as toucan.
“Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes.”
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!
Why do physics professors prefer overweight students?
They have greater potential.
What did baby clock ask mama clock? Where's father Thyme.
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake!
Five fuzzy French frogs Frolicked through the fields in France.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
I heard about a football player who had a heart attack and collapsed on top of his opponent.
He was dead on a rival.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his tea before it was cool.
My Physics teacher said I have no potential.
Joke's on her, I just bought a ladder.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
I am on the train and a light just came on saying the toilet is engaged.
Congratulations, toilet!
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
I just beat my friend in a Wild West themed art race!
I was quicker to the draw.
What is a strawberry that likes to spin called? A berry-go-round.
What do you calla watermelon that just won’t stop committing crimes? A watefelon.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
I've decided to marry a pencil.
I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B!
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
Twin brothers just had a birthday
One turned twenty. The other turned twenty too.
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
Why don’t oranges go around blind?
“Because they take Vitamin See!”
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
One day, I looked to my spine and said
Thanks for all the support! Thanks to you we've grown to new heights.
"Sip, sip hooray."
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
What do you call a mosquito sitting on your spouse’s cheek?
A golden opportunity.
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
When astronauts die, the local papers run an orbituary.
The man on the table found hair in his soup. He said in rage "I will take the chef to soup-reme court".
What do you say if someone steps on a banana peel? Well I guess he didn't find that appealing!
What soup killed Rob Stark? Italian Wedding Massacre.
Who brings presents for crows on Christmas? On Christmas? Santa Caws
"Bone to be wild."
Have you heard the fast gladiator that was a tumor covered in dough?
He was a Roamin' Tumor Roll.
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting.
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.