When does a Koala go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Which cool rapper recreates at Aspen Snomass?
Ice Ski.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
How did the struggling leaf get the job? He got the right qua-leaf-ications.
You are the best, I feel so peachy when I am with you!
Did you hear about the painter who works in jail? They say he had a brush with the law.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
As a Brit, I can't get into American football
They rugby the wrong way.
I just told my family a pun about bees.
It was so good that everyone gave me hive fives.
What did the therapist say to the pineapple? Look on the bright side.
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
"I'm nuts about you."
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
I only need a prescription for like half of my kitchen cabinets.
The rest are over the counter
What are ants made of?
Antimatter.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do you get if cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle-neck jumper.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
You know those silly hacker movies where they're hacking so hard they type on two keyboards at once?
Such blatant stereo-typing
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
I can row a boat.
Canoe?
A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...
It was a sleight exaggeration.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? He was a dirty layer!
My wife won a large ceramic pot
She definitely urned it.
Autumn is full of pumpkins, it is a gourd-geous time of the year.
Which Finn is like a hotdog on the ice? Teemu Salami.
When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein's origin and history, he said, "I am relatively aware of it."
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
My wife made gluten free, carb free, salt free spaghetti last night
It was not real food, it was an impasta.
Love the beach. Can I be any more Pacific?
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus? The strawberry is red!
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
Dear Optimist, Pessimist and Realist. While you were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
The Opportunist.
A strawberry who is a thief is called a rob-berry
What type of keys does the gingerbread man unlock his door with? cook-keys!
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin? When you drop it; then it's squash!
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!