Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor? Rabbit De Niro!
The evil King of Weatherland only had one favorite weather - hail, storm.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
A mixture of black, white, and red usually refers to a panda who has experienced severe sunburn!
Why does a little cherry always look up to its parents? It tries to follow in their fruitsteps.
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
Why did the ice cream truck break down?
There was a rocky road.
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
Treat yo shelves.
What did the pepperoni say to the cook?
You wanna pizza me?
What kind of tropical fruit wants to visit the moon?
A Coco-naut
What is in the middle of dinosaurs ? The letter "s"!
Remember, Irish puns on St. Patrick's Day don't just shame you. They Seamus all.
Which HOF defenceman was nicknamed The Gravedigger? Denis Plotvin.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What was the owl’s favorite Whitney Houston song?
Owl always love you.
If you photograph your pimples, is zit art?
What do you call a luxurious ant?
Decad-ant.
How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
Blue and orange are always polite and amicable with each other because they are complementary colors.
I tried buying a car from a religious person and got a lemon!
I suppose you get what you prayed for..
What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
What's the difference between chemistry and cooking
In chemistry you should never lick the spoon.
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What do you call an elf who runs away from Santa's Workshop? A rebel without a Claus!
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
Why does your laptop have a blanket on it?
It's on sleep mode.
Who is a geologist’s favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
Speed and Velocity are brothers.
Velocity has a family, is rich and teaches classes around the world.
Speed dropped out and still lives with his parents.
They think Speed lacks Direction.
What does a house wear?
Address.
"Lazy bones."
The kindergarten kids were taught the alphabet and peach sounds at school.
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
Autumn is full of pumpkins, it is a gourd-geous time of the year.
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.