Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
A Pun, a Play on Words, and a Limerick walk into a bar....
No Joke.
What do you call a parrot with an umbrella? Polly unsaturated.
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
Denise sees the fleece,
Denise sees the fleas.
At least Denise could sneeze
and feed and freeze the fleas
You cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo and you end up with a turtle
neck jumper.
Which Nordique great has recurring ligament problems? Peter Spaz-knee!
My bag of fruit snacks had all grapes
Today’s gonna be a grape day!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
Give papa a cup of proper coffee in a copper coffee cup.
A man was about to propose to his fiancé but as soon as he got down on his knees, she started laughing.
It was a fun knee moment.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
What happened to the Easter bunny at school? He was eggspelled.
What do the astronauts put on their lunch toast? Space jam.
A priest is the best catch for a tiger as they like to prey.
What does an artist call his sketch pad? A house.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
How did the catholic cowboy greet his priest for confession?
“Howdy, pardoner!”
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
Are you a 90 degree angle? Because this feels just right.
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
Why do ice cream cones make such good journalists?
They always get a scoop.
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
Elizabeth has eleven elves in her elm tree.
The art teacher encourages her students to move in the light direction.
When you offered me love, I lepton it!
What do you say when you go to a dinner with a bunch of osteopathologists?
Bone appetit!
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
The favorite fruit of all ghost's are Bloooooo-berries!
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
My sister prefers taking the stairs, but I always take the elevator. I guess...
we are raised differently.
I tried to turn on a tap. It was a bit stiff though...
So I had to faucet.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
Q: Why did the cherry stop in the middle of the road?
A: It ran out of juice.
I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
Super-duper storm troopers whoop it up at Death Star groupers: helmet thrashing, rebel bashing, laser blasting at party poopers.
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
Your name must be Autumn because I am falling for you.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
You know what really floats my boat?
Surface tension.