We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
Don't tell secrets in corn fields.
Too many ears around.
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
When the first nuclear bomb was detonated all the neutrons were sad.
Because their parents had just split.
Why was King Arthur’s army too tired to fight?
All of those sleepless knights.
What is the lightest house a real estate seller sells?
A lighthouse, of course!
Unicorns deserve to be banned from facebook because all they do is poke people all day.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
You are the coffee to my espresso and I love you a latte.
What kind of photos do turtles take?
Shell-fies.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
Q. What do you get when a swine artist mixes two colors together?
A. Pigment.
Fresh fried fish,
Fish fresh fried,
Fried fish fresh,
Fish fried fresh.
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s sea salt.
What caliber is Chekhov's gun?
Catch-22.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
What did Mars tell to Saturn? Give me a ring sometime!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
Did you hear about the two spiders who just got engaged? I hear they met on the web."
What do we get when we cross a pineapple and a pig? We have a porky – pine!
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
How much pot, could a pot roast roast, if a pot roast could roast pot.
Bad puns are how eye roll.
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
how do you convince meat juice out of a bovine?
You consomme out of him.
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
Q: Why was the cloud so dark and stormy?
A: It was feeling mis-thunder-stood.
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
The hip Doctor!
Who is the second coolest man in hospital?
The hip replacement guy!
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
When autumn arrives, the evergreen tree asked the deciduous tree, "Leafing so soon?'
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
How do cups get their money?
They mug people.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
I hate dentists.
Bad oral hygiene can cause so many bad things in your mouth, yet they tell you to brush it off.
Q: Why was the cloud not allowed to cross the border?
A: Because it was a for-rainer
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.