Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments. I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
Why couldn't the squirrel eat the macadamia nut?
It was one tough nut to crack.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
I dig you a hole lot.
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
The local baker keeps punching his doughy friend because he wants to get a rise out of him.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
What do you call a dude who really likes autumn?
A fall guy!
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
Because it can't sit down!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
I was throwing oranges at tropical birds. One of them caught one then said: “Toucan play that game”
He apologized for driving the orange to the edge of the blade
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.
He thought the manager said “seize her salad”.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Patient: "Nurse im suffering from bacon disease!" Nurse: "Baloney"
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
My wife threw a block of cheddar at my head
I said "Well that's mature."
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
What makes politicians and planets similar?
They both take up space.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
What is a bat’s favorite dessert?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
I'm never sure if I like rocking chairs or not.
I go back and forth on them
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
Me: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
I tried to hit the picture cleanly over the fence, but it was framed.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
The refs kept calling interference, even though goalmouth incidents were in
de-crease.
Serve up some Dad Jokes at your Father's Day BBQ
Make 'em eat Pop-Corn
Her name is Carly and she's a doctor
maybe I should C A Rly good doctor.
Why did an agent decide to hide his realtor license?
Because he wanted to be a secret agent.
One of my mother's friends asked if she could be a surrogate
I guess she was just looking for a womb for rent.
"Happy Easter to all my peeps."
Why don't you want to sleep in the sheep pen?
It would be total bedlam!!
Dear Optimist, Pessimist and Realist. While you were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
The Opportunist.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
It ain’t over till it’s clover.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!