The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
What do you call someone that's hungry for some cuddles?
Hugry.
I lost my memory after getting hit on the head by a boomerang.
It's all coming back to me now.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
I met this really beautiful crustacean, but I lobst her number.
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
Why shouldn't you shoot pool using a pickle?
Because you'll find the cue cumbersome.
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
Zero lucks given on St. Patrick’s Day.
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
What did the pinecone say to the pineapple? Nice to meet juice.
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox.
Why did E come out of the bathroom U?
He must've had a vowel movement.
What do you call a squirrel with no nuts?
A female squirrel.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
What do sloths make when it snows? Slow Angels.
Autumn has given me some of my best memories. I am forever grate-fall for it.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
What did the worm want to do when he grew up? He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
Do you know which the most favourite type of fruit of trees is? The pine – apple.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
For my birthday, my friends gave me a bunch of dirt and sand.
I appreciated the sediment.
What Twix do you have up your sleeve that makes me love you?
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
Do you know why bread hates warm weather? It just makes things too toasty.
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
What happened to the pirate who lost his peg leg?
He couldn't find it, so he was stumped.
“What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s Workshop? A rebel without a Claus.”
Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
“It was melondramatic.”
I bought a boat because it was for sail.
What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.