No-bunny is as hare-larious as you.
What’s a vampire bat’s favorite food?
I-scream!
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
Why did the peanut take everything off its wall? It didn’t want any walnuts.
On what radio station would you hear Bob Dill-on?
Vlasic rock.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
Why did the mammoth have a woolly coat?
Because he would have looked ridiculous in an anorak.
Did you hear about the neutron who was arrested?
He was released without charge.
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Oh Sheet
If prisoners could take their own mug shots...
Would they be called cellfies?
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
What happens when and ice cube gets angry?
It boils with anger, then lets off some steam.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
What do you call a serial killer on acid?
Jack the tripper.
Setters do it better. This sounds like a good motto to put on a T-shirt.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
Brace yourselves kids!
Our dentist is shutting down.
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Baa's Relief
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
I've been hitting the bottle pretty hard recently.
Still can't get the last of that ketchup out.
How will you make a baby astronaut fall asleep peacefully? Rock-et.
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
I think there'll be a ferry-tale ending to this trip.
Through three cheese trees, three free fleas flew. While these fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze. Freezy trees made these trees’ cheese freeze. That’s what made these three free fleas sneeze.
Why would the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch.
What position does a ghoul play on the soccer team?
Ghoulie!
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
Do you know why does your mother often shave a peach when cooking? Because she only needs nectarines for the recipe.
Believe in your elf.
You’re my pot of gold.
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
When the past, present, and future go camping they always argue. It's intense tense in tents.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
What are the three things most important to bats about their local real estate?
Echolocation. Echolocation. Echolocation.
You’re unbeleafable.
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!