Where do otters come from?
Otter Space.
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
Gobbling gorgoyles gobbled gobbling goblins.
Why did the man go into the pizza business?
He wanted to make some dough.
I went to the hospital for chest pains but the doctor kept inspecting my spine.
This place is back wards.
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Why did the broom decide to go to bed?
He was getting sweepy
Every piece of you is sweet.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
Jellyfish and peanut butterare sea turtles favorite sandwich.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
my buddy’s sad after getting fired from taco bell, so being a caring friend i asked if he wanted to
taco bout it?
Why did the werewolf laugh while chewing on the skeleton?
He got to the funny bone.
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
I scream, you scream, we all scream for icecream!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
The bowl of soup you bought yesterday from the Chinese restaurant was souper terrible.
Q: What time is it when a tiger walks into the room?
A: Time to get out of the room.
Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?
Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.
I saw a saw that could out saw any saw I ever saw saw. If you happen to see a saw that can out saw the saw I saw saw I'd like to see the saw you saw saw.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
What do you call a funny bone?
A humerus.
What is the most depressed river in Southern Europe? The Crimea River.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Did you hear about the geologist who went to jail?
He was charged with basalt and battery.
When a planet dies, does it get an orbituary?
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Nurse: You can come by at 6 today. Very little patients today.
Man: What happened to the normal sized patients?
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
He is a humble husband. Unlike others, he never blows his crumpet after making breakfast for his wife everyday.
A kitchen sink that treats you right?
That's a Farrah Fawcett.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
How does an ice cream cone congratulate you on the anniversary of your birth?
It’s sherbert day!
Patient: ‘Doctor, I’ve swallowed a spoon.’
Doctor: ‘Sit down and don’t stir.’
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
I always wondered why the watermelon loving librarian never touched any of the books; turns out she’d red them all.
What do geologists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.