What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
Which month can’t make a decision?
MAY-be.
I visited Spain and couldn't stop looking at the architecture
It was very Moorish.
You snow the drill.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
Which flower is known as the most ferocious flower? A tiger lily.
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
I work at an Ink company in Spain. Yesterday I held a Competition about our company’s history. But looks like no one wanted to be a part of the
Spanish Ink Quiz Session.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
I think therefore I yam.
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
I woke up in the middle of the night and found all the blankets on my bed were missing.
I was scared sheetless.
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs stuffed in your mailbox? Bill.
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
My deaf girlfriend just told me, “We need to talk.”
That is not a good sign.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
What does a ghost panda eat?
BamBOO!
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
What are ants made of?
Antimatter.
Never laugh at your spouse’s choice… You’re one of them.
My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
Do black and white count as colors?
It's a gray area.
Do you know why a pineapple can be a good observer? Because it has a lot of eyes around its body.
I'm not the fig plucker,
nor the fig plucker's son,
but I'll pluck figs
till the fig plucker comes.
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
I thought, I thought of thinking of thanking you.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
I would tell a time travel joke,
but you didn't like it.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
I said to her, are going to eat that whole plate of spaghetti??
She said: no, it's in pasta bowl
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
When I went to highschool in Italy my classmates were one year older than me.
I Skipped pasta grade.
I’m very frond of you.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
I don't get why a kid in my son's Pre-K class gave everyone an inflatable sword as a party favor for their birthday.
It's pointless.
"I need to re-wine my life."
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic.
She got a divorce the next day.