Five fuzzy French frogs Frolicked through the fields in France.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
The target in soccer is to kick it where it counts.
What do geologists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
A man meets a fairy.
"I grant you 2 wishes" , says the fairy.
"I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty" , says the man.
He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full.
"And youre second wish?" the fairy asks.
"Another one of those."
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
Any proof that Saturn married more than once? Well, he do has a lot of rings.
"There's a woman trapped under a motorway bridge in Italy."
"Genoa?"
"I'm not sure, I can't see her face."
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Have you read the book about hands? It’s a real page turner.
Believe in your elf.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
I often tell my niece to listen, because hearing is the first thing you lose with aging.
Or was it memory? I can't remember.
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
I think my back hurts. I'm okay though.
It's spine.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
The Little Mermaid shouldn’t be named Ariel
She should be named Nautical!
What is the lightest house a real estate seller sells?
A lighthouse, of course!
Why was a realtor amused by solving a house jigsaw puzzle in just five weeks?
The box read for 10-14 years!
Why was the scuba diver failing Biology? Because he was below "C" level.
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
Why do volleyball players love to swim? They like diving in the deep and then floating in the shallow.
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
What do Spanish phantoms say when they like something?
me ghosta.
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The fisherman goes to a bobber shop!
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
Which barnyard animal is a famous painter?
Vincent Van Goat
What do you call a magician nut?
“An individual who is able to turn into a nut.”
How do you work out how many rolls of toilet paper are in 4 packets of 16?
Multiply.
Why didn't the conductor know what to do when he found that his train was missing?
He wasn't trained for this.
A knew a guy with such a bad gambling addiction, that he gambled his arms, legs, and torso away.
I told him to quit while he was a head.
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
I could go on and on about Salming but I don't want to Borje.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
...that’s a moray.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.