Now that it's summer, we've got to seas the day!
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
The group of crows that attacked the lady was accused of murder, the cawps are still looking for the probable caws.
What did one bread say to another after a long day? Don’t worry because tomorrow will be butter.
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
Bugs bunny.
How did the cowboy greet the equestrian?
Howdy Neigh-bor.
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
No matter what shampoo I use, I can’t seem to get rid of my dandruff.
It’s a real head scratcher.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
What's a pun's favorite movie?
It's a Punderful Life!
"Alcohol you later."
There’s a new drama featuring herbivore doctors.
It’s called Graze Anatomy.
Why can’t a fish every play volleyball? They are afraid of the net.
Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
Where do the astronauts park their vehicles? At the parking meteors.
My grandfather had the heart of a tiger
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating
or just mething around?
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What’s the healthiest part of a donut?
The middle.
I know a good joke about Ikea furniture, but I'm still putting it together.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
I had a meal recently that was made with ketchup and mustard.
It was delicious! My condiments to the chef!
Why are snails allowed on ships?
Escargot.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
Flamingos are pretty good at ideas… They have a lot of experience with formation.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What various kinds of fishes live in space? Starfish.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
They were losing the battle, until they started chucking the tops of kitchen cupboards at the enemy.
It was a counter attack.
What do you call children who are born in a whorehouse?
Brothel sprouts.
An ig is just a snow house without a loo!
Why did you guys not laugh at my space puns? Because there way to Sirius.
What word backwards can predict the future? Cookies (Seikooc as in psychic of you say it).
We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs mark the spot.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?
My car smelled like bacon when I got home.
My porking brake was on.
What do you call royal pineapple? Your pine-ness.