I tried looking up ice cream puns on the Internet...
But then my browser froze.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
How do you sum up a cashew?
In a nutshell.
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center?
It was panda-monium.
What kind of cats like to go bowling?
Alley cats.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
Be careful, too many birthdays can kill you!
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
Where do fish sleep? In the riverbed.
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
I lost my daughter’s cosmetics bag...
I wonder how I’ll make up for this mistake.
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak!
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
When my daughter said she saw some chubby unicorns at the zoo, I couldn’t believe it. But it turns out it was just rhinos.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
I will never have the audacity to choose a career path for my children.
It's their responsibility to choose which Medical School they'll graduate from.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
I started an insurance company for flower and gardening businesses...
It's called "oopsie daisies."
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
Dear Optimist, Pessimist and Realist. While you were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
The Opportunist.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
Be careful what you say in a corn maze. The walls have ears.
I used to hate my husband's cologne...
But then it started to rub off on me.
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
Do you think you know more parrot jokes than me? Toucan play that game!
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
I was walking down the street when I stood on a banana.
Luckily, I was wearing my Slipknot t-shirt.
How many snacks could a snack stacker stack, if a snack stacker snacked stacked snacks?
A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left town by railway. It was an ex-press train.
As I was preparing to leave the restaurant, the waiter said to me, “Do you wanna box for your leftover food?”
I said, “No thanks, but I’ll wrestle you for them.”
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.