There’s a great new rock and roll cover artist doing the rounds at the moment – his name is Chuck Cherry.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
Be careful what you say in a corn maze. The walls have ears.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
What animal would you most like to be on a cold day?
A little otter...
My son fell asleep last night with the TV clicker in his hand.
He’s really embraced remote learning.
I want an almond flavoured biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am.
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn.
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
My birch of a wife just told me she wants a divorce. Says she’s tired of all of my tree puns.
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
What do the squirrels do when they are bored ?
watch NutFlix
Clean clams crammed in clean cans.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
French, French Revolution
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
People gave the sun a rating.
It was only one star.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
What’s the least honest bone in the body?
The fibula.
The phone rings, and a crow picks it only to find out it’s for her husband. She then says: "Hey John, you have a phone caw."
Just look, it’s the Trifle Tower
I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving...
One day I lobster and never flounder again.
Birdie birdie in the sky laid a turdie in my eye.
If cows could fly I'd have a cow pie in my eye.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
What do you get when you dump your Easter eggs on a hill?
A spring roll!
Why are candles lit on top of birthday cakes?
It’s impossible to light them on the bottom
Why won’t you ever find a unicorn in the army? Because they don’t like wearing uniforms.
What do you get if you cross a wasp with a doorbell?
A hum-dinger!
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
Sorry kids - we won't be carving pumpkins this year... Sorry to squash your enthusiasm.
What blood type does a pessimist have?
B Negative
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!
Tigers are like army soldiers. They both grow up to earn some stripes.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
What do you call an alligators nurse?
Gator-aid.
What happened to the two gladiator olives?
They were pitted against each other
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.