If you have a line of 100 rabbits in a row and 99 of them take 1 step backwards, what do you have? A receding hare line.
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Denise sees the fleece,
Denise sees the fleas.
At least Denise could sneeze
and feed and freeze the fleas
What's the manliest fruit to eat?
Mango.
Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
I’m in pursuit of hoppiness.
Roberta ran rings around the Roman ruins.
What type of music should you play at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Sham-rock!
The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting.
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.
Why do spider-musicians always have such long concert tours?
Because they have so many legs.
I could borrow the step-stool from my mom, OR i could go buy something taller.
I prefer the ladder.
It’s been a few years since the invisible man married the invisible woman.
Their kids are nothing to look at.
I wasn’t all that interested in gardening, but I planted a few seeds, and it grew on me.
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
Why should you you stand on the service line? So that you can order ice cream.
My girlfriend really changed after she became vegan
It’s like I’ve never seen herbivore.
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
Which legend lived in a shack? Was it Eddy? No, Ma-hovel-ich!
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. I lost my case.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
Ant-ten-eye.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
What kind of soup can you make with cool beans?
Chilly!
Why do Italians love cooking?
It’s their national pasta-time.
What's the difference between a sniper with Parkinson's Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can't hit...
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What do you call a whirlwind winter romance?
Love at frost sight!
I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.
She said, "It's reindeer."
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
Why did Dracula take cold medicine in winter? To stop his coffin.
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
Two spines are running up the hill as a hedgehog passes by them
Then one spine turns and says to the other “we missed the bus!!”
I'm glad I have my 2nd Amendment right to bear arms.
Otherwise, I'd have been amputated at birth.
"Doctor Doctor I feel like a supermarket"
How long have you been feeling like this?
"Since I was Lidl."