What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
I beacha miss summer already!
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
Just found out they make adult race car beds so I bought one.
That way I can be fast asleep.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, but a Zippo is a little lighter.
How rude-olf of you.
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
What is the head of an Italian dinosaur family called? Ptera Don
Lemonade and iced tea make an Arnold Palmer. What do you get when you Mix Lemonade with a tea bag?
Benedict Arnold Palmer
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
This flu season, doctors are recommending you wipe your throat down with tissues.
Apparently they're synonymous with clean necks.
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
Turned down an opportunity to invest in a company making frosted glass balls. Couldn’t see any future in it.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
What is Bruce Lee’s favourite fruit? Wataaaaar melooooon?
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion.
Fall leaves whenever winter knocks on the door.
Old Software Engineers Never Die...
They just reboot.
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
When you cross a camel with a cow, you will end up with a lumpy milkshake.
What do you call it when pigs attack you?
A hambush.
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap? Because it was on shale.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
Did you know that camels can last longer without water than se*?
They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump.
"On cloud wine."
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
What did Van Gogh name the ear he didn't cut off?
Van Stay.
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
A Blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.
That was berry rude of him
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
For waterproofing their nests, crows buy caw-king.
My weekend is fully booked.
How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Theres M&M shells all over the floor.
When facing trouble in the workspace, all the colorists rallied together by saying, "Come what grey, we will overcome all obstacles!"