What is the reproductive area in South America? Spermatagonia.
How did dinosaurs clean their teeth?
With flossils.
What do you get when you spill soup on a comic book? Souperman.
What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A marsbar!
I wasn’t all that interested in gardening, but I planted a few seeds, and it grew on me.
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
A mosquito asks for a date: "I'd like to take you out to suck blood on someones leg"
She says "I don't know, I feel like I'm going out on a limb here."
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
Only when it's ground.
You're so clover!
Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.
I watched a documentary about corn fields
It was really quite amaizeing
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
Q: What happens when two oranges collide?
A: They get en-tang-led!
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant eater!
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
“It was melondramatic.”
Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle? No they both burn shorter.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
Midwife (handing me the baby): "Make sure you’re supporting his head."
Me: "That’s a great head you have there, Well done!"
How does a bomb choose not to go off?
It refuses.
I went into my art lesson covered in yeast and flour...
My teacher said, I'm the perfect roll model.
What do you call friends with airpods in their ears
Earbuds.
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
I have no problem with listings with finished basements.
They’re my best cellars!
Being in love is a lot like central heating in your home.
You turn it on just before your guests come over and pretend that your house is always like this.
After the death of his wife a few years, the pineapple stands on the graveyard and says “I pine for you, sweetheart!”
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
Let’s get elf-ed up.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
In another town, the cowboy rides in wearing a paper suit. Paper pants, paper jacket, paper chaps. Even a paper holster!
He wasn't in town ten minutes before he was arrested for rustling.
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
Kids and I are making burgers for my wife on Mother's Day....
I hope they meat her expectations
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
Do you be-leaf in magic?
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?
“You’re too high strung, don’t fret.”
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.