What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
Where do Egyptians seal away their drugs?
In a narcophagus.
I dare you to lie that you didn’t find all these space puns hilarious. Th
A cup of coffee is the ideal start to a brew-tiful morning!
Shave a single shingle thin.
What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing? Darth Wader.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
. What do you call it when you heard the same jogger pun earlier, yet laughed again?
A running joke.
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
What's a goat's favorite organ?
A Kid-ney
We failed to find the dog's bone because the owner berried it.
Why are geologists never hungry?
They lost their apatite.
Don't worry, bee happy!
Why are football players not allowed in bowling alleys?
After getting a strike, they spike the ball.
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
My friend told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.
Apparently she was a saxy lady.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
There is a specific type of cats who love to go bowling. They are known as alley cats.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
I left chess club early this week.
I was just so board.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
I hope for world peas.
Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
She sold six shabby sheared sheep on ship.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
My town always holds a contest to see which beer drinker's belly is biggest by seeing how far it goes past a line...
That's the paunch-line.
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What do you call a pickle from the southern backwoods.
A hill-dilly.
It’s going to be awkward if Mr. and Mrs. Burr...
ever lose their son Tim in a forest.
I thought I checkmated my dad with my new glass set in chess...
But he saw right through it
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
Where do you find giant snails? At the end of giants fingers!
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
I know birthdays get worse as you get older. But look at the bright side — not too many left now.
My realtor sold me a two-story house.
One story before the offer, another story after the offer.
Whats a good Spanish sports channel?
ESBieN.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
Do truckers prefer houses with long-haul ways?