Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
A wolf that uses bad language is known as a swearwolf.
To all the people that don't cover their mouths then they cough.
You make me sick.
What do you call a married couple who compete in the marathon side-by-side?
Running mates.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
What to give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday?
Shorts.
What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
The group of beavers loved the river because it has a really bubbly personality.
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
Bamboozled.
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
Mom was a milk maid and dad worked the meat grinder at the local butcher. When they got married they took their vows very seriously.
They really meant it was for butter or for wurst.
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
If a dog chews shoes, whose shoes does he choose?
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
When you push a strawberry down a hill, you make a strawberry turnover.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
Ow did the millionaire gardener get rich so quickly?
He was running a huge pansy scheme.
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
Many people have a mythical belief about soup. It is called soup–erstition.
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.
‘’Euripides’’ says the tailor. ‘’Yeah, Eumenides?’’ replies the man.
How does a vampire bat enter his house?
Through the bat flap.
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
I tried my hand at cinematography, but it didn't really pan out.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
What do you call a real estate agent who secretly moonlights as a detective?
Sherlock Homes.
Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.
That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.
March 17 is near, and I am so excited about it. The clover it gets, the more excited I become.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
You know those silly hacker movies where they're hacking so hard they type on two keyboards at once?
Such blatant stereo-typing
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one
I complimented her on picking an unteak.
What do you call babies with guns?
Infantry.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
How much dew does a dewdrop drop
If dewdrops do drop dew?
They do drop, they do
As do dewdrops drop
If dewdrops do drop dew.