The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
How are a volleyball player and a carpenter similar? They both love to hammer spikes.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
“Deck the Halls with Bows on Collies.”
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Would they get two minutes for tripping?
Not if they spliff the defence.
In Ancient Greece, people who had beliefs contrary to the worship of Poseidon were executed for Heresea.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
I saw some leprechauns putting coins in the vending machine but in vain. They were using lepre-coins.
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
This whole birthday thing is getting old, don’t you think?
What type of noodles do swimmers like best?
Pool noodles!
Why is The Hulk such a good gardener? Because he’s got green fingers.
How do you make a tissue paper dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
Who babysits young Bigfoots?
Sasq-watcher.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
My wife doesn't like spicy food and I think it's a cayenne shame.
Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
Because the early beard gets the wyrm.
Golf is what you play…
When you’re too out of shape to play softball.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
Where is the Ghost’s bedroom located? Down the Hall-oween.
When is a car like a frog?
When it's being toad.
Who’s the patron saint of poverty?
St. Nickeless.
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
Why can’t people hear your scream in the space? Because it’s miles away.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Grandpa: “Don’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”
“If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”
Kindly kittens knitting mittens keep kazooing in the king’s kitchen.
I watched a documentary about corn fields
It was really quite amaizeing
Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
The scarecrow won an award because it had been excellent in its field.