I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..