Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
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