Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.