What does a Turkish kid say to his mom when he needs to do chores in the summer:
I dont’t wanna do it, it’s sho warm ma!
My twin brother was being rude to our mother on the phone, so I pushed him out of the window...
Now I am being charged with making an "obscene clone fall."
My mother always used to say "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"
Nice lady and all, I truly loved her, but a terrible surgeon.
My mom's sister once mistook Ritalin for aspirin...
It really upped the aunty!
My mom told me to stop singing "Im a Believer" because it was annoying.
At first I though she was kidding...Then I saw her face.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “It’s not working. I can’t take it any more. I’m going to my mom’s.”
I opened the fridge door, the light came on, the beer was cold. What the hell did she mean?
I don’t know why I couldn’t convince my wife she would like the set of knives I made her for Mother’s Day.
I made several good points.
My mother-in-law dropped her iPhone in the toilet...
I told her, "there's a CRAP for that."
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?"
Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
Son, your mother died. It happened when she choked on her dinner from laughing.
You could say I have a killer sense of humor.
I was talking to my friend and he asked me, “As a young boy was your mom strict with you?” I told him, “To be honest,...
“...my mother was never a young boy.”
What did the Indian kid say to his mother when she left India?
Mumbai
If your mom slaps you with high frequency -
It Hertz
My mom is a metalurgist
I asked her the other day: "Which metal do you prefer to work with? Gold or silver?"
She said: "Either ore."
My mom said I have no sense of direction
So I packed my bags and right
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son.
Beehive!
When Dumbo’s mom was pregnant, no one would talk about it.
It was the elephant in the womb.
I could borrow the step-stool from my mom, OR i could go buy something taller.
I prefer the ladder.
My mother always laughed at me when I told her my dream was to build a car out of spaghetti.
You should of seen her face when I drove pasta.
What does a baby volcano say to his volcano mother?
Magma
What do you call it when all your mother's sisters gather at a funeral to avenge your death?
Vigil aunties.
My mother asked me if my dog was good
I said “Yeah. And my hot dog isn’t bad either.”
I got down on one knee and asked her if she'd be the mother to my kids, she said yes...
Guess who's gonna find a bunch of losers in a box tomorrow morning at their doorstep.
What is a frustrated mother’s favorite month?
I SAID NO-vember.
I showed my mom my report card, she said that she needed to see more A's
I said OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
My mother's mother lost her false teeth at the retirement home. We searched the place everywhere but couldn't find them.
We looked in every nook and granny!
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