The school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the locomotive says “Choo Choo Choo!”
How do you find a missing train? Follow the tracks
What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo train.
What do you call a locomotive with a cold? A choo choo train.
How can you tell a train just went by? A. You can see it’s tracks!
Why did the monster eat the caboose? The locomotive told it to choo choo.
What happened to the man that took the 5 o’clock train home? He had to give it back!
What is as big as a steam locomotive, but weighs nothing? Its shadow.
I’ve been meaning to make a list of bad railroad puns…but I keep getting side tracked.
I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn’t trained.
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
A fired newspaper editor took an ex-press train out of town.
Why don’t elephants like to ride on trains? Because they hate leaving their trunks in the baggage car.
I know someone who tried to run away after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
First time hunters were arguing over which kind of animal tracks they had found when they were hit by a train.
Those who steal trains must have a loco–motive!
A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.
What did the Mama Steam Engine say to her Baby Steam Engine at supper time? “Choo choo!”
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
I don’t want to drive you crazy, but I do have a loco-motive
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.
Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains? He had to keep track of everything!
Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.
A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left town by railway. It was an ex-press train.
I know an elephant who refused to travel by train because he didn’t want to leave his trunk in the baggage car.
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
A train track and a motorway walk into a bar. The train track says “a pint for me, please, and one for the road.”
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
I know someone who tried to runway after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a railway security guard? One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
Ticket inspectors. You’ve got to hand it to them…
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
Never liked the troll who lives under the local railway bridge. He’s my arch enemy.
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.