How do trains eat?
They chew chew.
Why did the monster eat the caboose? The locomotive told it to choo choo.
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
What did the monster say when he saw a rush hour train full of passengers? Oh good! A chew chew train!
A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
Ticket inspectors. You’ve got to hand it to them…
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.
What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum? A chew-chew train.
How do locomotives hear? Through the engineers!
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
A train track and a motorway walk into a bar. The train track says “a pint for me, please, and one for the road.”
What kind of a car does a crazy man drive? A LOCOmotive.
I was running to catch a train yesterday, but just as I was approaching it...
I realized my net wasn't big enough.
Why don’t elephants like to ride on trains? Because they hate leaving their trunks in the baggage car.
Why did the train have bubble gum? Because he wanted to go Choo Choo
What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo train.
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a railway security guard? One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left town by railway. It was an ex-press train.
I saw a guy on the train holding a newspaper in front of his face.
He was behind The Times.
What do you give a train driver for Christmas? Platform shoes!
First time hunters were arguing over which kind of animal tracks they had found when they were hit by a train.
Those who steal trains must have a loco–motive!
Why are the railroad tracks angry? Because people are always crossing them.
I just quit my job as a train driver a few weeks ago.
I can't help but feel that my life has gone off the rails since.
New electric trains will run on conductors.
I don’t want to drive you crazy, but I do have a loco-motive
Never liked the troll who lives under the local railway bridge. He’s my arch enemy.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
Why do you have to wait so long for a train on Halloween? They only run a skeleton service.
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.
What do you call a locomotive with a cold? A choo choo train.
Never going drinking with Train drivers again.
All they did all night was tell me to ‘chug,chug,chug,chug.’
The US army secretly trains pigeons to help overthrow hostile foreign governments.
It’s a military coo.
I know an elephant who refused to travel by train because he didn’t want to leave his trunk in the baggage car.
What did the Mama Steam Engine say to her Baby Steam Engine at supper time? “Choo choo!”