What did Train say when they visited a sibling in South Korea?
Hey, Seoul Sister!
What did the Mama Steam Engine say to her Baby Steam Engine at supper time? “Choo choo!”
What did the monster say when he saw a rush hour train full of passengers? Oh good! A chew chew train!
I know someone who tried to runway after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn’t trained.
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
Why did the train have bubble gum? Because he wanted to go Choo Choo
New electric trains will run on conductors.
Why are ghosts no good at running a railway? A. Because they can’t even put on a skeleton service!
Why did the monster eat the caboose? The locomotive told it to choo choo.
I just quit my job as a train driver a few weeks ago.
I can't help but feel that my life has gone off the rails since.
I was so embarrassed when my wife found me playing with my son’s train set that I threw a blanket over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
Ticket inspectors. You’ve got to hand it to them…
How do trains eat?
They chew chew.
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
I don’t want to drive you crazy, but I do have a loco-motive
I tried to tell my favourite joke about trains, but it got derailed.
What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum? A chew-chew train.
How do locomotives hear? Through the engineers!
Why don’t elephants like to ride on trains? Because they hate leaving their trunks in the baggage car.
I saw a guy on the train holding a newspaper in front of his face.
He was behind The Times.
How long does it take for electricity to travel the length of a 10 car train?
It all depends on the conductor.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
Why can’t the engineer be electrocuted? Because he’s not a conductor!
I know someone who tried to run away after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
I was running to catch a train yesterday, but just as I was approaching it...
I realized my net wasn't big enough.
What do you give a train driver for Christmas? Platform shoes!
The US army secretly trains pigeons to help overthrow hostile foreign governments.
It’s a military coo.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo train.
First time hunters were arguing over which kind of animal tracks they had found when they were hit by a train.
Those who steal trains must have a loco–motive!
How can you tell a train just went by? A. You can see it’s tracks!
Did you hear about the man who sat next to his clone on the train?
He was beside himself.
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.
How do you find a missing train? Follow the tracks
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
What do you call a locomotive with a cold? A choo choo train.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
Why did the Mexican train robber rob the train?
Because he had a loco-motive.
A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
A train track and a motorway walk into a bar. The train track says “a pint for me, please, and one for the road.”
What is as big as a steam locomotive, but weighs nothing? Its shadow.
I know an elephant who refused to travel by train because he didn’t want to leave his trunk in the baggage car.
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
Never liked the troll who lives under the local railway bridge. He’s my arch enemy.
Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains? He had to keep track of everything!
I’ve been meaning to make a list of bad railroad puns…but I keep getting side tracked.