Did you hear about the Irishman that drank 100 liters of stout in just 30 minutes?
They’re calling it a Guinness World Record.
Ireland always leaves me wanting Moher.
Irish food is legen-dairy.
In Ireland, when the cows are in the road it’s udder chaos.
How can you tell if you’ve told a really funny Irish joke?
People will be Dublin over with laughter!
What do you call a bulletproof Irish man?
Rick O’Shay.
Are people jealous of the Irish?
Yeah, they’re green with envy.
The food here is quite so-fish-ticated.
Remember, Irish puns on St. Patrick's Day don't just shame you. They Seamus all.
My grandma is 80% Irish.
People call her Iris.
Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too expensive to fly and too long to walk.
I’m a clover, not a fighter.
Irish I had better jokes.
Don’t worry, Moher pictures are coming.
I’m a small Irish creature who has been diagnosed with a serious sickness. It’s Leprechronic.
What's Irish and stays out all night?
Paddy O'Furniture.
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
What do you say if you lose a game on St. Patrick's Day?
Game clover.
What kind of person would sell someone a sham-rock?
A lepre-con!
Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe?
Its population is always Dublin.
You’re the cutest clover in the patch.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
Ireland is pitcher perfect.
What do ghosts drink on St Patricks Day?
BOOs.
I love when you coddle me.
Did you hear about the Irish potato that immigrated?
He became a French fry.
I’m ready to shamrock and roll.
Irish potatoes are spud-tacular.
How can Irish people tell when it’s summer?
The rain gets warmer.
What type of music should you play at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Sham-rock!
This weekend, I will watch a new Irish movie based on a marathon runner who only ate potatoes. It is called Starch Trek.
A trip to Ireland is quite a cliffhanger.
How does every Irish joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.
I told my friend that our old school friend is coming to attend St Patrick's feast. She was surprised. She asked, "O'Reilly?"
Why don’t leprechauns run?
They’d rather jig than jog.
Just look, it’s the Trifle Tower
When I went to my favorite Irish cafe after years, I felt deja brew all over again.
I saw some leprechauns putting coins in the vending machine but in vain. They were using lepre-coins.
When does a leprechaun cross the road?
Just like everyone - when it's green!
What are the best sandwiches to serve at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Paddy melts!
Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
They’re always a little short.
Irish cuisine is stew-pendous.
In Ireland, I call the shots.
Why are the Irish so concerned about global warming?
They’re really into green living.
Ireland is a little lamb-boyant.
I am happy that the arrangements for St Patrick's day are going great. The large bottles of green soda look pitcher-perfect.
Why did Saint Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
They were causing mass hiss-teria!
Do you be-leaf in magic?
What kind of spells do leprechauns use?
Lucky Charms!
It ain’t over till it’s clover.