In Ireland, I call the shots.
I’m a small Irish creature who has been diagnosed with a serious sickness. It’s Leprechronic.
Why did the two Irish men fight amongst themselves?
They can’t find any other worthy opponents.
Are people jealous of the Irish?
Yeah, they’re green with envy.
March 17 is near, and I am so excited about it. The clover it gets, the more excited I become.
I love when you coddle me.
I told my friend that our old school friend is coming to attend St Patrick's feast. She was surprised. She asked, "O'Reilly?"
It ain’t over till it’s clover.
What kind of person would sell someone a sham-rock?
A lepre-con!
I’m ready to shamrock and roll.
You have me greening from ear to ear.
In Ireland, they really like to ham it up.
I’m Dublin down on what I said before.
Just look, it’s the Trifle Tower
How was the lepre-con caught?
By an under-clover police officer!
What do ghosts drink on St Patricks Day?
BOOs.
Did you hear about the Irishman that drank 100 liters of stout in just 30 minutes?
They’re calling it a Guinness World Record.
When does a leprechaun cross the road?
Just like everyone - when it's green!
When I went to my favorite Irish cafe after years, I felt deja brew all over again.
What is it called when two Irish couples go out on a date?
Dublin.
Why don’t leprechauns run?
They’d rather jig than jog.
Ireland is a little lamb-boyant.
Dublin over in laughter.
What type of music should you play at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Sham-rock!
You’re the cutest clover in the patch.
Ireland always leaves me wanting Moher.
St. Patrick’s is all about the pursuit of hoppiness!
A trip to Ireland is quite a cliffhanger.
Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
They’re always a little short.
Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe?
Its population is always Dublin.
Irish food is legen-dairy.
Irish potatoes are spud-tacular.
What do you call a bulletproof Irish man?
Rick O’Shay.
What are the best sandwiches to serve at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Paddy melts!
You’re my lucky charm.
I saw some leprechauns putting coins in the vending machine but in vain. They were using lepre-coins.
Irish cuisine is stew-pendous.
I am happy that the arrangements for St Patrick's day are going great. The large bottles of green soda look pitcher-perfect.
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
Why are the Irish so concerned about global warming?
They’re really into green living.
What do you call a fake Irish stone?
A shamrock.
What do you say if you lose a game on St. Patrick's Day?
Game clover.
Irish I had better jokes.
I’m feelin’ green.
The food here is quite so-fish-ticated.
In Ireland, when the cows are in the road it’s udder chaos.
What kind of spells do leprechauns use?
Lucky Charms!
Be-leaf me, you look great in green.
Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaved clover?
You don’t want to press your luck.
Jameson on St. Patrick’s Day? It’s worth a shot.