I went to a Halloween party wearing a pie shell and carrying a shepherds crook.
"What on earth are you supposed to be?" "I'm a spy" "A spy?. What kinda of spy wears a pie costume and carries a crook?"
A shepherds spy.
Saw Humpty Dumpty shopping for Halloween supplies.
He's going to have a great fall.
I said to my son, "There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me."
He asked, "Which is?"
I replied, "Exactly!"
I need a new Halloween costume. I’m thinking of going as an evil nun.
Do I really need another bad habit?
Who did Dracula take to the school dance? His ghoul friend.
I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.
“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!
I didn’t want to play it safe with a skeleton costume, I want people to know I have guts.
Why did the Vampire read The New York Times? He heard it had great circulation.
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
On Halloween, I will be wearing a normal everyday T-Shirt
I'll be going as a Casualty
My new Halloween cookies are bringing everyone back for more!
I call them boo merginues.
Why do they put fences around graveyards? Because people are dying to get in!
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
I let my kids pick my Halloween costume this year. They chose a hot dog...
... this is going to be my wurst Halloween ever.
Why didn't the mummy finish his Halloween candy?
Because he was stuffed!
What is Halloween's favorite medicine?
Any brand of coffin cold.
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
why are the discarded papers that once held the halloween candy just like vocalists who have lost their rhythm, art, and poetry?
they are both empty rappers
For Halloween, one of my sons dressed up as the clown from IT, and another son as a Twitter hashtag. They asked me my opinion...
I said "Penny wise, pound foolish"