I was a bit worried about making breakfast on Halloween
But I ain't afraid of no toast.
Jehovahs witnesses don’t celebrate halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door
Did you guys hear about the airplane that dressed up for Halloween?
It was in disguise.
What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music!
Halloween candy is yummy and all, but don't forget to save room for 'I scream.'
What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-Pie!
Who did Dracula take to the school dance? His ghoul friend.
What's the best part about the end of Halloween?
Putting the skeletons back in the closet!
I need a new Halloween costume. I’m thinking of going as an evil nun.
Do I really need another bad habit?
I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
Did you get to meet the tallest vampire in the world? People call him Count Everest.
For Halloween I'm going to dress as a donkey with a kilt
I'm going to be an ascot
What is Halloween's favorite medicine?
Any brand of coffin cold.
My aunt showed up to our Halloween party wearing ranch bottle costume. She was an hour late.
Her response: Sorry, I was getting dressed.
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
My new Halloween cookies are bringing everyone back for more!
I call them boo merginues.
Why was the Jack-o-Lantern sad on Halloween?
Because he felt empty inside.
I didn’t want to play it safe with a skeleton costume, I want people to know I have guts.
I said to my son, "There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me."
He asked, "Which is?"
I replied, "Exactly!"
This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues