Who did Dracula take to the school dance? His ghoul friend.
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin. I told him I'd gourd it with my life!
Why didn't the mummy finish his Halloween candy?
Because he was stuffed!
What do Italians eat on Halloween?
Fettuccine Afraid-O
What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music!
What does a placebo say on Halloween?
“Trick or Treatment!”
“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
Why did the ghost go to the bar? To get some boos.
I don't trust pumpkins. They're seedy.
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
We’ve all heard of the mushroom who gets invited to the party cause he’s a fungi, but what about the mushroom who stole all the halloween candy?
He had no morrels.
Did you know that the soldiers at Arlington salute their new Jack-o-Lanterns every Halloween?
They always honor the changing of the Gourd.
Are any of the Halloween Monsters good at math?
Only if you Count Dracula.
Why was the Jack-o-Lantern sad on Halloween?
Because he felt empty inside.
why are the discarded papers that once held the halloween candy just like vocalists who have lost their rhythm, art, and poetry?
they are both empty rappers
I said to my son, "There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me."
He asked, "Which is?"
I replied, "Exactly!"
I hope these Halloween puns don't drive you batty.
I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.
For Halloween I’m going to write “Life” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers
Enjoy goblin up all your Halloween candy — just don't let it go to waist!
What is Halloween's favorite medicine?
Any brand of coffin cold.
The best part of astrology is reading your daily horror-scope.
How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?
You use a pumpkin patch.
What do you say when you're having dinner with a skeleton? Bone appetit!
What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!
Son: Dad, did you know they used to carve turnips on Halloween?
Dad: They must have been out of their gourds.
Ghosts make the best cheerleaders. They have lots of spirit!
Orange you excited for Halloween?
What did the Turkey do on Halloween?
He was a goblin
Went to church on Halloween
Turned out to be a blessing in disguise
What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!
Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
What do you call Jack-O-Lantern cousins who lift weights together?
Pump Kins
My new Halloween cookies are bringing everyone back for more!
I call them boo merginues.
What's the best part about the end of Halloween?
Putting the skeletons back in the closet!
What is a jack o lantern's favorite pick up line?
"Darling, you look GOURD-EOUS!!"
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
I went to a Halloween party wearing a pie shell and carrying a shepherds crook.
"What on earth are you supposed to be?" "I'm a spy" "A spy?. What kinda of spy wears a pie costume and carries a crook?"
A shepherds spy.
My aunt showed up to our Halloween party wearing ranch bottle costume. She was an hour late.
Her response: Sorry, I was getting dressed.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
No matter what costumes they wear, when the Halloween candy comes out, everyone is a goblin!
Did you guys hear about the airplane that dressed up for Halloween?
It was in disguise.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.
My dad has been making Halloween related puns all morning
He's now asking that I call him the Halloween Pun King.
My Haloween costume would have been perfect if my hair agreed with me. Guess I’m just having a bad scare day.
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
I dressed up as a jousting lance for Halloween, but nobody got it.
I thought it was pretty straight forward.
On Halloween, I will be wearing a normal everyday T-Shirt
I'll be going as a Casualty