Garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sale of fresh flowers.
We’re mint to be.
Why was the gardener so embarrassed? He wet his plants!
Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend?
He had a long honeydew list.
Who needs friends when you’ve got anemones?
All dressed up and nowhere to grow.
Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.
God made rainy days, so gardeners could get the housework done.
I’ve started to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me how I find the time. I tell them “it’s next to the sage”.
My neighbor asked me if he could borrow my lawnmower. It told him he could; if he did not take it out of my yard.
Did you hear the gardener's joke about the old oak tree?
It's acorny one!
How do you know you are a Master Gardener?
There is a decorative compost container on your kitchen counter.
You would rather go to a nursery to shop than a clothing store.
You prefer gardening to watching television.
You plan vacation trips to arboretums and public parks.
Dirt under your fingernails and calloused palms are matters of pride.
All clover the world.
How do you know if you're a bad gardener?
All the rocks in your garden went belly up!
I got a job working in a hayfield. After one day I bailed.
What’s the easiest way to stop a dog from digging in the garden?
Take away his shovel!
Our farm is haunted by chickens. You could say that we have a poultry-geist problem.
I’m kind of a big dill.
Do you need some encourage-mint?
Why didn’t the flower get to go out on a second date?
He was a garden variety.
I beg your garden?
She didn’t date the gardener. He was too rough around the hedges.
I beg your garden?
Gardening question: Does anyone know a good place where I can buy a fern? Asking for a frond.
One bonsai tree grower was so successful he moved into a miniature house.
What runs around a garden but never moves? A fence.
If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
What kind of flowers bloom on your face? Tulips!
What happened to the Venus Fly Trap's plant food?
The arbor-ate-em.
What do you call a book on underwater gardening?
A self-kelp book.
Ow did the millionaire gardener get rich so quickly?
He was running a huge pansy scheme.
What’s a gardener’s favorite type of trousers? Ones with turnips.
Have you botany plants lately?
Why didn’t anyone laugh at the gardener’s jokes?
Because they were too corny!
I asked the staff at my local garden center what to grow in my garden. They gave me some sage advice.
Long thyme no see.
Farmers are real experts, they are often outstanding in their fields.
I had a job drilling holes for water. It was well boring.
I got into a fight with a snail. It was a real slug-fest.
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden.
Why is The Hulk such a good gardener? Because he’s got green fingers.
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-er.
I want to start gardening, but I haven’t botany plants.
I’m very frond of you.
Any self-respecting rock will break at least one shovel before accepting its new home.
A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!
Scarecrows always garden their patch.
I’ll never leaf you.
What does a gardener call the tree surgeon who also makes a great cup of coffee?
Arbor-ista.
Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?