Herb your enthusiasm.
What is the wise gardener's mantra?
Weed 'Em and Reap!
Seed between the lines.
Ants in your plants.
A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!
Why did the gardener need a cork?
Because his garden sprung a leek!
Gardening question: Does anyone know a good place where I can buy a fern? Asking for a frond.
Do you need some encourage-mint?
Eat, drink and be rosemary.
All dressed up and nowhere to grow.
Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend?
He had a long honeydew list.
I started dating the girl across the street. Honestly, lawn-distance relationships aren’t that hard.
Long thyme no see.
What do you call a book on underwater gardening?
A self-kelp book.
Trowel and error.
What’s a gardener’s favorite type of trousers? Ones with turnips.
Have you botany plants lately?
I’m very frond of you.
It’s party thyme.
One more thyme.
I want to start gardening, but I haven’t botany plants.
Let me plant one on ya!
Over quarantine, I’ve really gotten into gardening. I am especially enamored with growing chard varieties. So much so I’ve written a book of poems about their taproots.
I hope to one day be recognized as the beet poet of our generation!
Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
I got a job working in a hayfield. After one day I bailed.
I was offered a job as a gardener, but I didn’t take it because the celery was too low.
Scarecrows always garden their patch.
God made rainy days, so gardeners could get the housework done.
I got into a fight with a snail. It was a real slug-fest.
Why are shovels, trowels, and spades so common in down-to-earth novels and movies?
Because they're plot devices.
The farmer had such a bad headache he had to retire. He was sick of his grains.
Garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sale of fresh flowers.
I'm a gardener and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I plant all day!
I dress in grubby clothing and hang around with slugs.
Oh I'm happy in the garden
With dirt and plants and bugs.
What’s the easiest way to stop a dog from digging in the garden?
Take away his shovel!
What’s a gardener’s favorite Beatles song? Lettuce Be.
Why didn’t the flower get to go out on a second date?
He was a garden variety.
I used to make lots of money clearing leaves from gardens. I was raking it in.
I hired a landscape gardener today.
He couldn’t help me — my garden is a portrait.
Schwarzenegger retired from TV to kill bugs. Now he’s an ex-terminator.
How do you know you are a Master Gardener?
There is a decorative compost container on your kitchen counter.
You would rather go to a nursery to shop than a clothing store.
You prefer gardening to watching television.
You plan vacation trips to arboretums and public parks.
Dirt under your fingernails and calloused palms are matters of pride.
I beg your garden?
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the corn has ears.
I started an insurance company for flower and gardening businesses...
It's called "oopsie daisies."
All things must grass.
I beg your garden?
If only I could grow green stuff in my garden like I can in my refrigerator.
What kind of socks does a gardener wear?
Garden hose!
Cleaning my cold frame is a pane in the glass.
Ow did the millionaire gardener get rich so quickly?
He was running a huge pansy scheme.
After a year of waiting, my publisher finally approved my book on gardening
It's about Thyme.