She didn’t date the gardener. He was too rough around the hedges.
Scarecrows always garden their patch.
All things must grass.
How do you know you are a Master Gardener?
There is a decorative compost container on your kitchen counter.
You would rather go to a nursery to shop than a clothing store.
You prefer gardening to watching television.
You plan vacation trips to arboretums and public parks.
Dirt under your fingernails and calloused palms are matters of pride.
Garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sale of fresh flowers.
Why is The Hulk such a good gardener? Because he’s got green fingers.
Why didn’t anyone laugh at the gardener’s jokes?
Because they were too corny!
I asked the staff at my local garden center what to grow in my garden. They gave me some sage advice.
In on the ground flora.
Let me plant one on ya!
You’re unbeleafable.
Don’t moss around.
What do you call a grumpy and short-tempered gardener?
A Snapdragon.
A woman asks her neighbor, "Can I borrow your lawnmower?"
Her neighbor says, "No, he's not home yet"
Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled.
How do you know if you're a bad gardener?
All the rocks in your garden went belly up!
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-er.
Seed between the lines.
What did the pirate call his vegetable patch?
His garrrrgh-den.
I’ve always been afraid of gardening.
But then I decided to grow a pear.
Yet again, someone has added more soil to my allotment. The plot thickens…
What’s a corn farmer’s favorite animal? The unicorn.
In the eyes of the lawn.
One more thyme.
What do you get if you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?
A rash of good luck.
One bonsai tree grower was so successful he moved into a miniature house.
What do you call it when worms eat all of the plants and take over the world?
Global Worming.
What kind of garden flowers grow in outer space?
Moonflowers, Sunflowers, Star Clusters, and Cosmos.
Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?
New Year's resolution for the bankrupt gardener was to forget the past and rely on the fuchsia...
Do you need some encourage-mint?
Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend?
He had a long honeydew list.
Eat, drink and be rosemary.
Why do gardeners plant bulbs? So the worms can see where they’re going.
Did you hear the gardener's joke about the old oak tree?
It's acorny one!
I want to start gardening, but I haven’t botany plants.
I beg your garden?
Over quarantine, I’ve really gotten into gardening. I am especially enamored with growing chard varieties. So much so I’ve written a book of poems about their taproots.
I hope to one day be recognized as the beet poet of our generation!
What is the wise gardener's mantra?
Weed 'Em and Reap!
Schwarzenegger retired from TV to kill bugs. Now he’s an ex-terminator.
Gardening question: Does anyone know a good place where I can buy a fern? Asking for a frond.
I wasn’t all that interested in gardening, but I planted a few seeds, and it grew on me.
Have you botany plants lately?
What’s the easiest way to stop a dog from digging in the garden?
Take away his shovel!
What’s the name of the gardener’s favorite show? Lawn and order.
I’ve started to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me how I find the time. I tell them “it’s next to the sage”.
If only I could grow green stuff in my garden like I can in my refrigerator.
I used to make lots of money clearing leaves from gardens. I was raking it in.
What runs around a garden but never moves? A fence.