Don’t come to France without any Monet.
Why did one pineapple invite another to their party? Because they were real piner-pals.
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
I'm fondue you, it's true
Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains
Doctor: Pull yourself together
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
Which was the largest Gladiator of them all?
Gluteus Maximus
"Lazy bones."
I can heartly wait to see you again.
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.
I just dropped my phone in the bath
Now it's syncing.
Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?
Because they're hip.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What did the zoologist and the herbalist name their child? Tiger Woods.
Due to unusually successful harvests of chickpeas this year, the price of hummus is going to fall dramatically.
Buy the dip.
What type of songs do planets sing?
Nep-Tunes.
I accidently sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
The wolf really needed to talk with the skeleton because he had a bone to pick with him.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
As it snow happens.
Scrambled eggs are similar to a losing basketball team because both are beaten.
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
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One thing you never want to do is divorce a butcher.
That would be a huge missed steak.
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
What our parents tortoise was to be kind to each other.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?
First, a tractor.
My wife said we needed to have a serious talk about my obsession with furniture.
I said we could table it for now.
I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn’t that funny So I just snickered.
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
What do you call a crimson-colored fish wearing a hat?
A red herring...
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
I wanted to buy a book on Albert Einstein's theories but it was on the top shelf...
It's information that's way over my head.
Why do Ghosts make such good company? They are full of spirit.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
What is the correct answer to Hummus?
A cow.