If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
There are many grounds religious children can practice their soccer skills. However, most of them love the prayground.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day, he holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
What was Valentine’s favorite dessert for the French cat?
Chocolate mousse
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a watermelon by it’s diameter? Watermelon PI.
What do squirrels watch on TV?
Nut-flix.
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten-ants.
She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
Aliens hate playing golf in space as there are too many black holes!
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
What do you call a chicken staring at a salad?
Chicken sees a salad.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
You can catch a lot of flies with honey
But you'll catch more honeys being fly.
How does every Irish joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impekkable.
What’s a llama’s favorite drink?
Llamanade.
Why are big boats called "Yachts"?
Because they cost "Yachts of money".
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.
What Do You Call A Clever Duck?
A wise quacker
“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
Need an ark?
I noah guy.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
A kid at the spelling bee was asked to spell "inward"
A teacher tackled him after the first G
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t PEELING well.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
New Age music.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-Pie!
I started watching soccer because I could see it’s very relevant to my life.
Little to no goals.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.