I have a heart-on for you.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A hot dog.
Why did Paco's girlfriend not want to kiss him?
She was afraid of the a-Paco-lips.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
I butter nut tell you.
If you have a parrot, it says a lot about you!
On the Ark, Noah probably got milk from the cows. What did he get from the ducks?
Quackers
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
Which frog has horns?
A bull frog.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
If you happen to knock down all the pins, don’t be overly excited. Spare us the details.
What is the lightest house a real estate seller sells?
A lighthouse, of course!
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
When winter comes, this town turns into an iceburg.
Why did the hawk sit on the church’s steeple?
It was a bird of pray.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.
Q: Where do fruits like to go on vacations?
A: To the peach.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
My dads astronaut friend ate pizza in space
He said it was out of this world.
I once pranked my mom and told her that I had lyme disease
I still had a few ticks up my sleeve
What’s the biggest difference between Thanksgiving and April Fool’s Day?
On one you’re thankful but on the other you’re prankful.
What is a dairy product like as a partner?
They’re your butter half.
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
This is snow laughing matter!
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
I don't trust pumpkins. They're seedy.
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
Why didn't the conductor know what to do when he found that his train was missing?
He wasn't trained for this.
I know a good joke about Ikea furniture, but I'm still putting it together.
What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented? A Model T-Rex.
Did you hear they are not making yardsticks any longer?
They’re not making them any shorter either.
My realtor promised to give me a free abacus if he could close the deal.
I’m unsure whether to count on it or not.
Why are hot dogs angry? Because they are always getting roasted.
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Theres M&M shells all over the floor.
My doctor didn’t show up to the appointment about my hairline.
He said it got pushed back
What did the lighter color shade tell to its dark lover?
I want hue
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
"You can't sip with us."