Be careful, too many birthdays can kill you!
I don't get why a kid in my son's Pre-K class gave everyone an inflatable sword as a party favor for their birthday.
It's pointless.
For my girlfriend's birthday I got her a dwarfish clown who told jokes...
It wasn't a great gift, but she appreciated the jester.
Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle? No they both burn shorter.
Remember the one about people queuing up for drinks at Old Faithful's birthday party?
You're not missing much; the punch line blows.
I’m a little confused as to why everyone keeps giving me legos for my birthday.
I don’t know what to make of it.
This whole birthday thing is getting old, don’t you think?
For my wife's birthday, I bought her some beads for her abacus
It's the little things that count.
I just bought my friend a mini fridge for his birthday
I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
For my birthday, my kids got me an alarm clock that swears at you instead of beeping.
That was quite a rude awakening.
More candles means a bigger wish!
What did the Teddy Bear say after blowing out his birthday candles? No cake for me…I’m stuffed
Wedding cake tastes just like Birthday cake
It just takes more commitment.
People keep getting me clocks for my birthday.
Time and time again.
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said ....
You know, one would have been enough.
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
My dad got me a clone of myself for my birthday...
He said “Here, it’s faux you!”
You feta have a gouda birthday.
For the record, you’re not old, you’re a classic.
Being related to me is the best birthday gift you could receive.
You know you’re getting old when…there is nothing left to learn the hard way.
People keep getting me clocks for my birthday.
Time and time again.
I hope the only things that blow are candles and balloons. Have a great birthday!
Nobody showed up to my 16th birthday party,
I congratulated him on his win against Polyphemus and we started the party.
How do pickles celebrate their birthdays? They relish them.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
I know birthdays get worse as you get older. But look at the bright side — not too many left now.
You are one candle closer to starting a house fire.
You know you are getting older when the candles don’t fit on the cake.
They say everything gets better with age.
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
My girlfriend made me one of those sculpted 3D cakes for my birthday but wouldn't stop reminding me how it took her all day to decorate it..
..which is surprising since to me it looked like a piece of cake.
My dad got me a clone of myself for my birthday...
He said “Here, it’s faux you!”
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
My daughter want's the new iPhone for her birthday. I told her she will get one as long as she has good grades, does her chores, and follows the house rules. Otherwise she will get a cheaper phone, because.
It's my way or the Huawei.
Looking 50 is great! If you’re 60.
Birthday candles don’t exercise because they burn out too quickly!
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
What goes up but never comes down? Your age!
You did a grape job raisin me. Happy birthday!