I don't get why a kid in my son's Pre-K class gave everyone an inflatable sword as a party favor for their birthday.
It's pointless.
People keep getting me clocks for my birthday.
Time and time again.
Got a universal remote for my Birthday.
Well, this changes everything.
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
For my wife's birthday, I bought her some beads for her abacus
It's the little things that count.
The only thing I got for my wife on her birthday was a big helium balloon.
It didn’t go down very well.
I gifted my girlfriend a star for her birthday
I think its perfect, she said she needed some space.
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
My wife isn't talking to me because apparently I ruined her birthday....
I don't know how I did that... I didn't even know it was her birthday!
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
My dad got me a clone of myself for my birthday...
He said “Here, it’s faux you!”
For my birthday, my kids got me an alarm clock that swears at you instead of beeping.
That was quite a rude awakening.
I’m a little confused as to why everyone keeps giving me legos for my birthday.
I don’t know what to make of it.
You feta have a gouda birthday.
Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about
the present, I didn’t get you one.
Be careful, too many birthdays can kill you!
Hey shawty, it’s sherbert day.
Why do pieces of popcorn always have great birthdays? Because they’re always popping!
How do pickles celebrate their birthdays? They relish them.
What did the Teddy Bear say after blowing out his birthday candles? No cake for me…I’m stuffed
You know you’re getting old when…there is nothing left to learn the hard way.
What type of music is scary for birthday balloons? Pop music!
Being related to me is the best birthday gift you could receive.
Behind every great parent is a great kid. Happy birthday!
You did a grape job raisin me. Happy birthday!
You’re not 50 years old, you are 20 years old with 30 years of experience!
Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle? No they both burn shorter.
Looking 50 is great! If you’re 60.
You are aged to perfection.
More candles means a bigger wish!
I know birthdays get worse as you get older. But look at the bright side — not too many left now.
Happy birthday to someone old enough to go vintage shopping in their own closet.
This whole birthday thing is getting old, don’t you think?
For the record, you’re not old, you’re a classic.
Congrats on proving that getting older doesn’t mean getting wiser.
You are one candle closer to starting a house fire.
They say everything gets better with age.
I hope the only things that blow are candles and balloons. Have a great birthday!
You know you are getting older when the candles don’t fit on the cake.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age!
Birthday candles don’t exercise because they burn out too quickly!
I don't get why a kid in my son's Pre-K class gave everyone an inflatable sword as a party favor for their birthday.
It's pointless.
People keep getting me clocks for my birthday.
Time and time again.
Got a universal remote for my Birthday.
Well, this changes everything.
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
For my wife's birthday, I bought her some beads for her abacus
It's the little things that count.
The only thing I got for my wife on her birthday was a big helium balloon.
It didn’t go down very well.
I gifted my girlfriend a star for her birthday
I think its perfect, she said she needed some space.
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
My wife isn't talking to me because apparently I ruined her birthday....
I don't know how I did that... I didn't even know it was her birthday!