I don't get why a kid in my son's Pre-K class gave everyone an inflatable sword as a party favor for their birthday.
It's pointless.
I don't get why a kid in my son's Pre-K class gave everyone an inflatable sword as a party favor for their birthday.
It's pointless.
I hope the only things that blow are candles and balloons. Have a great birthday!
Happy birthday to someone old enough to go vintage shopping in their own closet.
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
People keep getting me clocks for my birthday.
Time and time again.
Why do pieces of popcorn always have great birthdays? Because they’re always popping!
This whole birthday thing is getting old, don’t you think?
For my wife's birthday, I bought her some beads for her abacus
It's the little things that count.
You are one candle closer to starting a house fire.
For my birthday, my kids got me an alarm clock that swears at you instead of beeping.
That was quite a rude awakening.
Being related to me is the best birthday gift you could receive.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age!
What did the Teddy Bear say after blowing out his birthday candles? No cake for me…I’m stuffed
What type of music is scary for birthday balloons? Pop music!
My wife isn't talking to me because apparently I ruined her birthday....
I don't know how I did that... I didn't even know it was her birthday!
Congrats on proving that getting older doesn’t mean getting wiser.
You feta have a gouda birthday.
Birthday candles don’t exercise because they burn out too quickly!
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
The only thing I got for my wife on her birthday was a big helium balloon.
It didn’t go down very well.
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said ....
You know, one would have been enough.
I know birthdays get worse as you get older. But look at the bright side — not too many left now.
What is every horses birthday wish?
A stable economy.
They say everything gets better with age.
My dad got me a clone of myself for my birthday...
He said “Here, it’s faux you!”
Got a universal remote for my Birthday.
Well, this changes everything.
I gifted my girlfriend a star for her birthday
I think its perfect, she said she needed some space.
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
I gifted my girlfriend a star for her birthday
I think its perfect, she said she needed some space.
Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle? No they both burn shorter.
I’m a little confused as to why everyone keeps giving me legos for my birthday.
I don’t know what to make of it.
You are aged to perfection.
For my wife's birthday, I bought her some beads for her abacus
It's the little things that count.
Wedding cake tastes just like Birthday cake
It just takes more commitment.
I’m a little confused as to why everyone keeps giving me legos for my birthday.
I don’t know what to make of it.
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
What did the boy without hands get for his birthday?
Nobody knows, he hasn't got the package open yet.
You’re not 50 years old, you are 20 years old with 30 years of experience!
You did a grape job raisin me. Happy birthday!
Got a universal remote for my Birthday.
Well, this changes everything.
Hey shawty, it’s sherbert day.
Be careful, too many birthdays can kill you!
The only thing I got for my wife on her birthday was a big helium balloon.
It didn’t go down very well.
People keep getting me clocks for my birthday.
Time and time again.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
AYE, MATEY!
For the record, you’re not old, you’re a classic.
More candles means a bigger wish!
Behind every great parent is a great kid. Happy birthday!