I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.